I feel like crap today. Ever get the feeling that all the things you stand for do not mean crap to this world? I guess I did it to myself. I chose to swim the opposite direction against the flow. Why am I complaining that I am not where everybody else is at? Silly me. I am such a dork. So what do I do now? Do I keep on going? Keep on trying? Give up? Give in? I feel like I am dying in this world. I am waiting to see how true it feels to say: to die is gain and to live is Christ. Waiting to see what it really means.
posted by Jason at 11:35 PM

Dah. Who is Jason Chen? Seems like other people think they know better than I do. And I AM Jason Chen. What the freak. Or maybe they do know. And I don't know. So confusing. What can I do? Only things that others think I can do, sometimes more or sometimes less. Who cares what people think? Well, what they think is what they let me do, what they give me, what they tell me, what they show me. Sure I know. But it is lonely knowing the only person who knows you is you and God. What's that? I did this to myself? Screw you.
posted by Jason at 10:51 PM